Sexy and desired, ileostomy bag and all...
After I saw the Amy Schumer "somewhat nude" image going around on the internet, I put it out there, on my photography page, offering 5 free shoots to anyone willing and brave enough to do something like that!! The next day, I met Shelbie at a LV Style Magazine shoot and she was 100% all in to do a shoot...but there was something more.
This past summer, her body was permanently changed...here is her story.
"One day after doing this shoot I went on my first date since having my colon removed back in July 2015. I was nervous for the obvious reasons. What are we going to talk about? Is he going to think I’m funny or weird? Is my hair too frizzy? But I wasn’t nervous about telling him about my ostomy. I thought to myself, “I don’t have a colon anymore and that’s OK.”
I have been living with Crohn’s Disease for 10 years now, so you could say I’ve gotten pretty comfortable with having a “pooping disease.” Before my surgery I showed no outward signs for having the disease except for when I was running to the bathroom with an expression of panic and agony. If I did tell people about it I would brush it off and say, “Oh it basically causes stomach pain and occasional diarrhea.” I tried to spare them the truth in order to hide my embarrassment. Most of the time I suffered in silence, only being able to confide my pain with my family and closest friends. Maintaining a romantic relationship seemed impossible as I feared that I couldn’t possibly be seen as feminine and sexy living with an illness that caused me to have to run to the bathroom at any given moment. But it wasn’t just fear that a man would see me as undesirable that kept me secluded, it was also the inability to see myself as being desirable in the face of all that I had to deal with on a daily basis.
After years of being on steroids and immunosuppressive therapies, my Crohn’s Disease was never fully controlled. A week or two of symptom-free bliss would so easily be followed by a month of sickness without any explanation. I had grown tired of not being able to predict the future in terms of my health. Choosing to have my colon removed with the addition of a permanent ileostomy was an easy decision after spending 10 years consumed by this illness. For the first time since my diagnosis I am not on any medication. I can eat basically anything I want. I no longer immediately look for the closest bathroom each place I go.
When I see my naked body, I realize that I am not physically perfect. But who is? What I have lost in having to wear an external bag I have regained in being able to reclaim my life. Since recovering and going back to my old, but improved, life I have decided to re-define what I, and women everywhere, are conditioned to believe what “sexy” is. I did this photoshoot not because I am vain or want attention, but because I needed to see myself in black and white for who I really am and all I have been through these past 10 years. I needed to prove to myself that I am beautiful and sexy and desired, ileostomy bag and all. But I didn’t want to just prove this to myself, but to all of the women and men out there struggling with some sort of physical illness. Despite what you see in the mirror, you are brave, you are strong, you are sexy. And sometimes it takes removing all of your clothes and insecurities to see that.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, the date went great!" ~ Shelbie, age 23.
I am so very proud of you Shelbie and honored to have photographed you!!
You are BEAUTIFUL! You are BRAVE! You are SEXY! You are YOU!!!
For more information on Crohns and Colitis, go to: ccfa.org
or
The Ostomy Association at: ostomy.org
www.elainezelkerphotography.com